Puberty, ugh! I am a mom who is about to give birth to our fourth child so you would think that it would be easy for me to think about what I would want to share with my children when it comes to puberty, sex and child birth. Not so much. I did not grow up is a very prudish home or a very open home. I grew up on what I call a “non-working” farm with animals but no farming. Yes, I knew how the chickens did it and the cats, but that really did not translate into what sex was for my tween and teen brain.
My mom did not have the “Talk” with me until I got my first period which I feel was a little late. Even then I remember so many questions that I was embarrassed to ask or did not know to ask. I realize now how broken my relationship with my mother was that I could not talk to her about everything. I do not want that to be the case for my children. I realize that for some things my husband has a better sensitivity and candor than I do. I am totally fine with him discussing or answering questions from either our sons or daughter.
What We Have Done So Far:
NOT ENOUGH because our oldest two are 10 1/2 years and 9 years old! I know that my son knows the word sex and has a general idea of what Sex is but I do not know 100% what he does or does not know (not good in my opinion.) I think my hubby should be the person he talks to about puberty since he is male and understands the male body way better than I.
We have expressed the silliness for having a boyfriend or girlfriend at a young age. Even dating at 13 is too young and ridiculous in our book. That does not mean you will not like someone from the opposite sex or that you cannot feel attracted to someone from the opposite sex just that you cannot date!
I am researching a Christian perspective more vigilantly since they are a little older. We do talk about marriage. We try to answer questions when they come up with very short, direct answers not revealing too much information too soon. I am also sensitive to what my children might share with others. (i.e. when Eldest was in 1st grade and Princess was in Kindergarten I was pregnant with
Lil’ Red Big Red. We were very careful how we worded ANYTHING related to babies or how babies were made or where they came out knowing that my children could repeat our answers. I did not want other children to hear things that their parents weren’t ready to discuss,yet.) We even told the teachers this and they thought we chose wisely.
Sex is such a tough area to talk about since the immorality is so high around us and at such an earlier age children are exposed to things even in a Christian environment. Now our children do hang-out with public school kids and I just wonder what those poor souls are now taught in elementary school.
I do not want to be taboo or totally right up in my kids face about puberty, dating, sex, and marriage. Finding that healthy balance is what will be the key to making our journey as parents a success!
This is the Introduction post for a multi-part series about Puberty, Dating, Sex, and Marriage! I am not endorsing ANY of these sites. Please use at your own discretion AND PLEASE VIEW ANY and all sites/books/videos BEFORE sharing with your child! (We got a book once from the library and when we got it home promptly hid it until we went to the library again! It showed positions and other explicit content and was geared to preschool/elementary age!)
Here’s where I plan to go to research how I “Talk” to my kids:
Teen Resources about Sex, Marriage, Promiscuity, and Pornography. Statistics and research for PURITY and marriage even at a young age.
How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex from LifeWay
Talking About Sex and Puberty from Focus on the Family School-Age Resources
Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality from Focus on the Family
How to Talk to Your Christian Teen about Sex from about.com
Changes Of Puberty from Discovery Education